Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Agent Profile - Old Man Crow

I'm back and I'm about the same really. Been running down an address in central Asia, which is not a friendly place to be for your favorite duck. Still it all worked out ok in the end.

I met Old Man Crow on a hillside overlooking the pacific ocean back before I had even had much contact with Mr. Oliphaunt. I had received an e-mail promising . . . well it doesn't matter what it promised me. He was sitting there, warming himself next to a fire. I asked him my question, and he nodded and said that he didn't know anything about it, but that he could see that my path and his would be entwined for some time.

Old Man Crow was one of the initial team, along with Jack Munroe, Madrigella, Tayrn and myself. He was our mystic, being a native American and a member of the Chinook Nation. He had served in World War 2 in the pacific theater and was as old as God. Damn good shot as well.

He stands about 6 feet tall, built for an old guy, with skin that looks like an old catchers mitt. Long white hair. His magic relates to the natural world, as you might expect. He is at home in any natural setting, and I do mean any. We got lost in the Gobi desert once after a gun trade went bad (due in large part to our efforts). We did just fine, although lizards aren't as tasty as they look. He also has some limited ability to sense the shape of the future.

If you work with him, let him take the lead on planning if he wants to. He's got a fine tactical mind and his view of nature. He will often be content to act as advisor however. In which case listen to his advice.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

New Recruits 2 - Rufus

The Duck again. I've been trying to track down this Rufus and having not very much success. It turns out nobody at Rudy's out on Highway 1 has ever heard of him.

Kidding. I do real research sometimes too, but this is a tricky one. All I've found is that Rufus is some kind of ultra elite industrial espionage agent who operates out of Detroit, who moonlights as a photographer of the unusual and the absurd. The word ninja is thrown around a bit, and from what I've heard it seems accurate. I called up Traficant, who's just having a swell time in Southeast Asia, and he sent me the following.
Rufus is a good photographer and he's got some strong journalistic mojo. Some of the shots he's taken have been nothing short of amazing. He got both Donald Trump and the Trump bot in one shot, those proving it's existence. He also managed pull out documents and photographic evidence of Project Lazarus, and in fact, has a signed photo of Jimi Hendrix, taking in 1994.

He does work for competing newspapers regularly, and I don't know if his photographic evidence really matches up to the hard work that columnists do. Rufus is very good at showing you something you haven't seen before; but he's not as good at telling you what it means. That's more my stock in trade.
Well professional rivalries aside; that should tell you what you need to know. He's good at getting where other people don't want him to be, and finding things other people don't want us to find. Strikes me he might come in handy.

Friday, October 01, 2004

New Recuits 1 - Johnny Appleseed

OK, let's get this done. Johnny Appleseed, he's just this guy, you know?

I think I used that once before, but it fits. This is the Duck, for those who haven't guessed.

He's ex-special forces. I have conflicting reports that put him in the Navy SEALs and the Army Rangers, and I'm not at all sure that it's possible to be in both. At any rate, the more complete records place him in a special unit in the Army Rangers. He's supposed to be involved in small unit combat on every continent (yeah, that includes Antartica).

It might have been in Antartica where it all started to go wrong. Reports on that mission are sketchy, but the mission was authorized by the NSA, and involved sketchy reports of an archeological dig gone wrong. He got back, with 16% of his unit. He retired, or was retired, immediately thereafter and resolutely refuses to talk about his past.

He's very good with many different styles of combat, and he's smart. He's been trained to effectively deal with unusual situations in the field without coming unglued, and whatever his other mental conditions, his mind still retains that ability. His services are available as a mercenary; we've used him, as an independent operator, on a few missions in the Yukon Territory, and he's done very well.

But he is a little off. In particular, he has an unnatural affection for apples (Tayrn has already sent me out to purchase some particularly good hard cider, in case he does join (Now that's the kind of mission I like. It goes without saying that, in order to get the right Cider, I have to have samples). Tayrn thinks it's probably the symbolic aspect of loving a "pure" America and therefore loving Apples as a symbol of that lost purity. Me, I think the guy probably just really likes apples.

Anyway that's him in a nutshell. He'll make a good field agent; particularly if we have to go out in the country or off the beaten path.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

New Recruits

This is Taryn. We are changing the way we do things a little. I have talked with Mr. Oliphaunt and he agrees that it's time we worked on a more open basis. We have several new recruits that we are considering for inclusion in the Rogue Elephant society. I've asked the Duck to take the next several days and do brief bios about each of these, and he has graciously agreed to do so.

While the final decision will be made by myself, Mr. Oliphaunt and The Duck, we welcome any information you might have about these individuals. Particularly their personal take on them. Please sign your name after your comment so we know who is speaking.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Field Report - Photo of Julia Z

We managed to pull down a shot of Julia Z from an surveillance camera near a warehouse in Riverside. The resolution is ok, but not great and it's a little too tight around the face, but it should give you a visual of her.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

From the News - "Depravity Isle"

By Alistaire Traficant

As loyal readers know, I've been all over this mudball, and I've been in some pretty dark places. I've investigated Sanieria Cults deep in the Amazon. I've been the guest of cannibalistic tribes in the South Pacific. I've had lunch with Plastic Surgeons from Beverly Hills. I can't really say if where I've been the last couple of days is the worst place I've been; I'm too close to it. But it's pretty bad.

It's an Island in South East Asia. I could tell you exactly where it is, and I still doubt you'd be able to find it. It's that kind of place; a place God and all decent people forgot about long ago. And like all such places, dark thing grew there. In particular a crime lord named Lao Mao.

His criminal empire, christened the 97 chrysanthemums (although I suspect that is only a shell of his real interests) has a stranglehold on Southeast Asia, with tentacles reaching as far west as Turkey and as far east as San Francisco. The core of his power, however, is Southeast Asia.

Every ten years Lao Mao holds a tournament to find new talent. This year's tournament will surely be one he remembers, whether he wants to or not. I journeyed to his liar as the guest of two of the fighters, Diego and Genghiz. On our boat ride to the island we were attacked by pirates, hired by Lao Mao as some sort perverted test. We succeeded in defeating them (reminding me, once again, why I carry a Colt 45). Upon arriving at the isle we were greeted, warned to mind our own business and given comfortable lodgings. Comfortable in a physical sense only.

The Island had a tropical climate, with beautiful flowering trees. In daylight the floweres looked like happy pink blossoms, but as the sky darkened they become more sinister, darkening to a creepy blood red. The archictecture is a hodgepodge. Ancient temples stand next to modern warehouses and bungalows. The atmosphere seems heavy, as if a storm were contstantly about to break. Many did, in our visit.

It's the little signs of evil that are the most corrosive. I've known about Lao Mao's drugs and his extortion and weapons smuggling and so on and so forth. He spreads misery around the world, and in an intellectual way, I've recognized him for what he is, a 21st century monster. But only after looking into the eyes of one of his serving girls have I seen the eyes of the abyss itself.

Lao Mao "employs" hundreds of young nubile women, of all types and nationalities, as his servitors. Despite differences in skin color or hair style, all had one thing in common; dead, empty eyes. That part of the brain that created personality and will power had been removed completely. They could emulate a personality, and many did, usually an innocent school girl type or seductive vixen type. But it was clearly just a shell, there was nothing behind it.

I watched the other fighters and their retinues as they figured out the game. Many were disgusted; others enjoyed it. And as I watched, the corruptive nature of Lao Mao's gift became clear. Once you have the idea that a person isn't a person at all, but just a thing for your amusement . . . it is amazing the depths of evil men can do in a situation like that.

Of course while we were there, we had the occasion to witness large actions of depravity as well as small ones. I have it on good authority that the Green Viper Society, former allies of Lao Mao, were destroyed to a man during the tournament. Several hundred people, possibly thousands; wiped out in a moment. The Green Snakes territory was intended (I assume) for new allies of Lao Mao, the SSS, children of Hitler's madness. I do not know who will take their territory now; but I can only assume many many people will be interested.

The tournament ended with the victory of Genghiz, one of the fighters who invited me along. His victory felt pretty damn good, particularly since he had to defeat one of the leaders of the SSS to claim the prize. We left the island immediately thereafter, having been warned that Royal Air Force and SEATO had finally tracked down the island. The invasion, from what I could see, looked impressive. I have to admit, however, that I got the heck out almost immediately.

I'm given to understand that Lao Mao escaped as well. Reports are sketchy but he escaped with the remnants of his supporters. I hope that he does not remain free for long.

Field Report - Julia Z in LA

Tayrn here.

We are currently pursuing a contact in Los Angeles who claims to have spotted the elusive Julia Z. She served as a contact for the Jack Monroe, retired. He fed information to her, and she forwarded it to (we believe) the Producers. When we went to pull Monroe in, she interferred. Johnny Grease had an encounter with her, and here is his description of her.
Julia Z is perhaps one of the most dangerous people we've come up across so far, not because she is the most powerful, has the most fu, or oozes parasitic nanobots, but because she is the most beautifull woman in just about any room happens to be in. She nearly had my head back at the Orlando airport, and I think I got away primarily because I was an obstacle rather than the target. She made the mistake of coming after me with a gun, rather than a knife in the back on a crowded dance floor - not that I dance, but you get the picture. She's quick, she's sexy, and she's a cold hearted killer. So, under other circumstances not a bad catch.
We don't know what her game is, but we can assume it's nothing good. Our contact is working for Autodynamics Research Institution, and should have more information shortly.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Agent Profile - Diego

The Duck here. Tayrn is out, so I figure now is as good a time as anyway to put up this exciting profile of Diego.

For those out in the field; kind of sucks not having you around. I mean the Car-Puchin is still here; but he's not what you would call a great conversationalist. Tarkus and John Sexton are out doing some kind of errand for Tayrn, who looks like she's aged about 15 years in the last two weeks. I don't even hard the heart to steal Mr. Oliphaunts liquor. I'm reduced to buying my own. Anyway take care of yourselves, sort out Mr. Lao Mao and get back home.

And bring Diego with you. I'm sure you all know that Diego is pretty young. Cuban kid who grew up in Miami. I don't get the impression his home life was all that wonderful, and he ended up running with some gangs for a while. Fortunately for him he tried to rip of a kung fu master.

In most cases this would be very bad luck; but in his case it turned out to be good luck in the long run. The kung fu master, who presented himself as Alanzo Fuego, soundly kicked Diego around, but recognized a bit of talent in the kid. So brought him back to his Dojo for further kicking around. Diego proved a talented student and studied happily with Fuego for a couple of years. Then one day (a couple of weeks ago actually) Fuego's Dojo was burned to the ground with Fuego inside. Kind of mysterious.

We'd already had our eye on Diego for various reasons, and so we made some contacts. When the tournament came on the horizon, we stepped up our recruiting. I don't know if the kid understands what the stakes are or why this important. Mostly I waved the $16 Million in his face, which seemed to work.

A couple of interesting points. The first record of Alanzo Fuego's existence was a drivers license application dated four days before he encountered Diego. As far as we know he sprung into existence at that point.

Secondly, his martial arts style is widely practiced by servants of the Fire Pagoda in the Netherworld. For those unaware, the world used to be ruled by four siblings who were powerful sorcerers. They were driven off, but have maintained an existence in the Netherworld, where they plot their return. The Fire Pagoda is the home of one of these siblings, an all around bad dude.

I'm not saying that any of this adds up to anything; we don't know. And there's no evidence of any connection between Diego and the Fire Pagoda. But it's something to be aware of.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Field Report - The Value of Research

I have been doing some work on Molly O'Shaunessey's friend Jean-Christophe Reynard; although I'm told he is going by Jean Batista during the tournament. His cover identity is near flawless; you can't find anybody at his work or among his acquaintances who has a negative thing to say about him.

On the other hand I have definite confirmation that he is a member of "Les Freres de Sainte-Acacius de Byzantium" or, in English, the Brothers of St. Acacius of Byzantium. St. Acacius is a martial Saint, having served as a roman legionnaire before his conversion and martyrdom. They are a secret society, obviously connected with the Catholic Church but not directed by the papal Seat. They have members in Italy, Switzerland and Spain as well as France.

This is where things get interested; they were apparently founded sometime in the late 1840s by an a monk known as Fra Lipello from Turin and his aide, a Chinese convert to Catholicism named Li Seung who had traveled west. Li Seung apparently brought to Fra Lipello the idea of a "Righteousness Society" which was nothing more than a group of warriors to protect innocents and encourage proper behavior. Such organizations were one of the threads that eventually became the Tongs and Triads of China.

However, many of these Righteousness Societies were also just what they claimed to be. Honest men who sought to teach righteousness and defend the innocent. These more benign societies were often under the thumb of the Guiding Hand. And as it turns out, Li Seung was also a member of a Golden Candle Society and was almost certainly a mole for the Guiding Hand.

For those who don't know much about the Guiding Hand, they are kung fu Confucianists from the 1850s. They are pretty good at what they do, and they genuinely hate the Architects of the New Flesh, the Lotus, and all the other nastys we come into contact with. On the other hand, in an ideal world, China would be the center of the world with all us other nations regulated to third world tributaries. A Woman's place would be in the home and impropriety like, say, drinking a lot would be harshly punished. So while we can ally against similar enemies, it's best to remember that we don't really get on with them.

Anyway this doesn't mean that Jean Batista is openly an agent of the Guiding Hand; from all I've seen that seems unlikely. And it's clear that he would have just as much desire to destroy Lao Mao as we would. But it is something to be aware of.


Friday, July 30, 2004

Field Report - A Death in the Family

This is Tayrn.  For those who have not been informed, Quon Jih-Eaux of the Silent Mongoose society has been killed. I can assure you all that the gentleman who killed him will be sorted out.

Our team toe enter the tournament of Lao Mao should have arrived at this point. The team includes Diego and Ghengis as combatants in the tournament. Alistaire Traficant, Baron Sang, Aremasu and Joe have also journeyed as their retinue. We will inform you if anything happens of interest there.

Old Man Crow, Vivek and Lord Hoshi will be returning Quon Jih-Eaux's body to his ancestors in Macao.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Agent Profile - Danh Tu

OK, some of you were probably wondering whatever happened to that "monstrous Monster" we were talking about last time.  Well we brought him back to the present, gave him the name Danh Tu, and threw him in the harbor outside of Kampong Saom, Cambodia. 

Aren't you glad I cleared that up?

Actually though we weren't quite that capricious.  Due to poor understanding of the netherworld and juncture travel we ended up in Vietnam when we came back with Tarkus and Danh Tu.  Danh Tu was an abomination, or so the nomeculture goes.  In his particular case that means he has webbed feat, pale gray skin, slit eyes, a rather hideously toothy mouth and bad breath.  I suppose you might have guessed the bad breath on your own.  On the other hand he is a charming person if you can stand to be around him.  Upon returning it was quite clear that he had zero chance of fitting into society. 

Madrigella had a waterproof computer made through some connections of hers, with a specially bright screen, and we jimmied a way for him to patch into a cable that runs from Bangkok to Kampon Soam.  With that we have stayed in touch with him, and he has served as an ad hoc member of the Silent Mongoose society.  Vivek has particularly befriend him, both of them feeling somewhat cut off from normal society I guess. 

He's the Aquaman to Vivek's Batman I guess.  Best not to think that way, since I am guessing I would end up as Woozy Winks in that analogy. 

Anyway if you go to Asia you might encounter him, but for the most part he keeps his own company.  He is sometimes hard to contact, as he does enjoy exploring and feels little need to stay at home all the time.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Agent Profile - Tarkus

Let me take you back, way back, to the age of the caveman. OK, maybe not that far. Just back the beginning of the Rogue Elephant Society when we were operating out of a cheap hotel in central Florida.

Well, we still are operating out of that hotel. Mr. Oliphaunt isn't all that motivated. Anyway he recruited me and Tayrn first. Me and Oliphaunt knew somewhat about the other junctures, although not nearly as much as we know now. Anyway we did the recruitment thing, picking up the late (but not much lamented) Jack Munroe, Madrigella and Old Man Crow. So we had a team of sorts and we knew about the other junctures. Upon careful review and discussion and a certain amount of drinking it was determined that the 1850 juncture was probably the safest for us to visit.

So naturally we ended up in 2056.

Yeah, we didn't know as much as we thought we did.

2056 is not a good juncture for amateurs to visit. And its very hard to get a good drink there, unless you make it to Norway and you like mead (I did and I do, but that is not germane to the story).

At any rate, through a series of interesting encounters I found myself with Madrigella at the Captain Michael Eisenhower Correctional Facility. For a change I was on the pleasant side of the bars. We were investigating some sort of monstrous monster who had rebelled against the system. The nice thing about a system as stratified as that one is that they are afraid not to believe a superior.

Anyway while there we encountered Tarkus, a young man with a distinctive style who was due for processing. Apparently, he had been caught transporting stolen goods. But what was fascinating was the long list of crimes he had apparently committed. Crimes in 2056 are a bit different than current crimes. And apparently one of his larger sins was that he had reconstructed over 20 cars from the 1950s to the 2015s, old gas guzzlers. This was of course an environmental crime. He also had some spotty involvement with the Dallas Rockets and he had been accused of being a Jammer (no big deal, that. Most criminals are accused of being tied to the Jammers. Hard to prove, and it makes the station look good).

Anyway we needed some muscle and a guide, so we busted him. It's not like we had to bribe him with much; just all of Oliphaunt's cars.

Tarkus is a driver; it's what he does. He's good at it. I don't know how much more I can say than that. He's good with firearms, but not spectacular. Oh, and he and Johnny Grease have something going on. I won't speculate, but it seems to involve glaring and swearing. He does get on with the Car-Puchin though.

Ok that's enough history for one day. Talk to you later.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Agent Profiles

Tayrn here. Here is a sheet giving you a rundown of our rosters. It's a work in progress, and of course is incomplete but it has a lot to start with.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Agent Profile - Ghengis

Hey, it's your friendly neighborhood Duck here.  Anyway I'm here to write about Ghengis our kung fu hippy from gangsta city.  Only he's not really from gangsta city. 

Thousands of years ago there was a great empire on the Mongolian steppes of Mongolia.  Did I mention that Tayrn didn't hide the key to the liquor cabinet very well today?  Come and get it.  Or, you know, what's left of it.  Anyway Ghengis lived in this great empire in the year 67 or so by our reckoning.  Don't bother looking in the history books for records of this empire.  It's not there anymore.  Ghengis  saw to that, apparently. 

Silver Slippers speculated that the empire was a Mageocracy, based on ancient pacts.  If the palaces and castles of the ancient city were held together by magic, than what happens next might cause them to more or less wink out of existence, leaving no trace.  Of course it's also possible that Ghengis  and his allies caused a localized critical shift.  

At any rate, Ghengis  describes his home kingdom as pretty bad.  Very repressive.  He was part of a resistance group, the one that finally succeeded at entering the castle.  The guards looked the other way while he and his allies fought a terrific battle with the priests of some heathen god from that part of the world (not that I have anything against heathen gods, of course).  Ghengis  kills the last one himself, after the battle has ended up with everything in the palace dead.  Unfortunately the last priest had opened a door to another world; wherein Ghengis  found himself trapped. 

Ghengis stumbled around the netherworld for a bit; fighting demons and other types, until finally tumbling through into those caves at Lascaux, France.   The ones with the cave paintings.  He ended up pretty quickly in a French jail.  Fortunately for him, Alistaire Traficant was in the area, investigated, and quickly figured out his back story (or at least this much).  He paid his bill and brought him to Mr. Oliphaunt.

Ghengis  isn't the most cheerful of fellows; he hates magic in all its forms.  His passion for hating magic makes us Ascended look almost pro-magic.  His outlook is a bit primitive but he is far from stupid.  He gets on with the Karpucian, and he apparently believes that Barry Ho is some kind of reincarnated angel.  The lest said about that the better. 

Baron Sang stays in human form when around him, however, and the Psychedelic remained on the periphery of involvement precisely to stay away from him.  He's never met Silver Slippers either, but he did meet Old Man Crow.  Apparently Old Man Crows style of magic didn't bother him very much; on the contrary he treated him with a certain amount of deference. 

Ghengis has got excellent kung fu as mentioned above.  His hands move faster than the human eye.  He claims that he used to be considerably more powerful, but that he was tainted by his journey through the netherworld or something like that.  Anyway he's still pretty good in my book.  Mr. Oliphaunt has been trying to convince him that as he fights the good fight, he can purify himself of the taint.  I don't know about that, but I guess it's worth a shot.  If you team up with him, use stealth; but once combat starts, let him get out front and do his thing, while you circle him, helping pick of enemies.  Obviously never introduce him to a magi of any kind, unless you want him to kill that mage.

Anyway writing this has caused undesirable sobriety, so I'm off.  Tune in later when I will be too drunk to type.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Field Report - Jean Baptista

Hey this is Molly. Thanks for the nice words, Duck. Just wanted to let you know that I might not be able to attend the Battle in Bangkok. We have got an unusual message from Silver Slippers, who was doing some follow up work on the Emmental Council.

On the plus side, I do have an ally who will be attending. His name is Jean Baptista. He studies Savate and he's reasonably good at it. He's also a cook for Les Mets de Provence in Marseilles. Madrigella did a check on him, and found that he's well liked among the cooking community there in Marseilles. Apparently they are pretty protective of him. At any rate, he is going to be attending the fights, for reasons of his own. I suggest you make contact with him, assuming I am unable to attend. He may be of some use to you.

I hope I see you there, but if not, good luck!

Agent Profile - Molly O' Shaunessay

My admiration for the lovely ladies of the Mangey Unicorn Society knows no bounds despite the pain that each has inflicted on me.  Silver Slippers turned me into a frog for a brief period of time, Gretal accidentally stabbed me shortly after we met, and Lady Saturday has barely noted my existence.  And, in the greatest injury of all, Madrigella actually consented to go out with me for a brief period of time before breaking my heart.  But none of them hurt me quite the same way Molly did.  She hurt me with her fists.  Repeatedly. 
I guess I should note that Ms. Molly is the only one who you can go out drinking with.  I should also note that my comportment when I have been drinking is not always as . . . refined as I might wish it to be.  At any rate, many is the morning I have woken up in an ally after having spoken some ill chosen words.  Molly does always leave a bottle of aspirin in my pocket, and it's damned hard to stay angry with her. 
I guess that's Molly in a nutshell right there.  She fights better than any three people and she's so personable that you don't hold a grudge. 
She was an acquaintance of Tayrns back in the old country (for those who don't know, Tayrn's past is pretty interesting, but I'm supposed to talk about it).  Anyway when Tayrn left all that behind to work for Mr. Oliphaunt, the only person she stayed in touch with was a bare knuckle champion named Molly O'Shaunessey.  We used her on a couple of European jobs as extra muscle, and noticed that people just liked talking to her.  She has a natural gift for languages, fortunately.  So when Madrigella was dispatched to form the Mangey Unicorn Society, Molly was her first recruit. 
And that's her story.  If you end up working along side her, let her do the leg work.  In combat she'll be a bit fearless.  She is basically a boxer, but she has studied several other martial arts styles and is very limber and loose on her feet.  She's tough too; in combat it's best to move around the edges picking off enemies while she goes up the middle.
That's all for this edition; hopefully I can find that Genghiz guy and give you the lowdown on our other non Mongoose martial artist. 

Monday, July 19, 2004

Agent Profile - Vivek

The Duck here.  Since I did two from the American group, let's check in with the Mongeese.  Oh, I had that drink I was talking about by the way.  And a couple more. 
Anyway Vivek.  He's got issues.  Apparently his ancestry were connected with one of the Dakaiti.  For those of you with big vocabularies like me you know that that word means gang of thugs.  Unlike the other gangs of thugs known as the thuggees, the Dakaiti tended to be more interested in the money rather than with any sort of religious symbolism.  Course there are those who say that the Dakaiti were just rebels anyway. 
Hey I do have a life outside of booze.  A little reading never hurt anybody.
Anyway Vivek's grandpapa was a leader in a Dakaiti, but his dad didn't want anything to do with it.  After giving his son plenty of opportunities to join, finally one of his lieutenants, thinking to curry favor with the old man, paid a little visit to Vivek's home in New Delhi.  He killed his dad and his mom, being a particularly sloppy and stupid killer, and upon returning to the old man for his reward, he got it.  Something involving crocidiles, I think. 
Vivek was naturally a bit upset by this turn of events and he dissappeared for several years.  His grandpapa spared no expense to round him up, but it was all in vain.  Then a figure started appearing at the edges of organized crime.  A very tough little figure with a whole lot of gadgets and firearms.  He fought crime with two intricately carved gold plated firearms, dressed in the outfit of a temple guardian with an intricate golden mask.  He destroyed his Grandfather's Gang, and continued fighting crime in India and Southeast Asia.  And no I don't know if Vivek and his Grandfather ever met again; I think it's impressive how much I know anyway . 
His contacts in the Asian crime world are second to none, and he's a skilled gunman.  We contacted him very circumspectly, and introduced him to Old Man Crow and Lord Hoshi.  They got along well enough, although Vivek still spends a lot of time on his own agendas.  Still he has remained loyal and extremely useful to the Rogue Elephant society, and if you need to know anything about crime in the Far East, he's your man. 
On the other hand if you ask him for a nearby half decent bar, and he'll look at you like you grew an extra head.  And on that note, I'm off. 

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Field Report - Mr. Oliphaunt Returns from NYC

Mr. Oliphaunt has just returned from Manhattan.  His exact words were "There exists an opportunity for us in the Far East."  According to his information there is some sort of fighting tournament in the area of Bangkok that we might interesting.  
Truthfully, Mr. Oliphaunt has been less than communicative since returning from his trip.  Most of what we know is sketchy.  Vivek has made use of his contacts to determine that this fight is being conducted by a Mr. Lao Mao.  He is involved in drugs and slaves as well as having a stake in several of the big far eastern Crime organizations, including, it is rumored the 97 Chrysanthiums. 
According to Vivek, Lao Mao has an island where the fights are held.  He has visited it once, where he rescued Lord Hoshi who was being held as a prisoner.  While there he took part in the tournament under an assumed name.  At any rate that eliminates Lord Hoshi as one of the contestants.  Vivek says that he had better not attend either, although Quon Jih-Eaux may attend. 
It is unclear right now what our best approach to this problem is, but I would advice all other Martial Artists, particularly Molly O'Shaunnessy and Genghiz to prepare themselves in case we need them to enter the tournament.  Johnny Grease and Barry Ho were already planning on traveling to that area for personal reasons, and may be available to help in a support capacity.  More details will be forthcoming as we gather more information.
Edited to add: Barry Ho is  correct in his report of my error (the name is Lao Mao, not Lo Pan), but incorrect in his diagnosis of why I made it.  In fact it is Mr. Oliphaunt who has, perhaps, viewed too much cinema. 

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Agent Profile - Johnny Grease

OK here's another one of these profiles.   Johnny Grease.  He's just this guy, you know? 
He's ex-Mafia from New York or New Jersey.   I am not sure which but he's not too comfortable in either area.  He's ok looking but not someone who jumps out at you, particularly the way he dresses.  Usually in jeans, a black t-shirt and a duster of some sort.   He goes everywhere heavily armed.  He's equally good at up close in your face action and long range elimination.

He did a few jobs early on for Oliphaunt.  After recruiting a fair amount and realizing that he was going to need even more operatives, Oliphaunt figured he would use smaller missions to test candidates.  Johnny Grease had a rep, but he was supposadly retired.  Oliphaunt called him and arranged a few eliminations, which he carried out handily. 
Johnny doesn't answer a lot of questions; so I don't have too much more to write.  He's been partnered with Barry Ho, and the two get on well enough.  He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and doesn't stay at Oliphaunts hotels; he keeps his own places.  I don't know what he does on his own time. 
If you work with him, let him take care of any hired muscle, while you focus on the target.  He's extremely good at that.  OK that's enough, I'm going to go get a drink.

Field Report - Kentucky

OK here's the rundown. We suffered no casualties past minor scrapes and bruises. The Emmental Council suffered the following setbacks.

* Destruction of their base of operations, thanks to Blast Packs set by The Karpucian and Joe.

* Death of the Angry Duke, presumed death of the Darkest Soul (a body recovery mission returned inconclusive results).

* Capture of the Ashen Duchess. We are questioning her currently.

* Various other creatures destroyed.

* Recovery of various computer systems and records.
This should leave the Emmental Councle crippled for the forseeable future.

There are few loose ends however.

* We were unable to recover the Gentle Doubt's children (of the Seat of Air).

* The Seat of Ice was not on the premises during our attack or possibly she exited the premises before the attack began (a clarification; initial reports suggested that the Mangey Unicorn Society had eliminated the Seat of Ice. It turns out that they eliminated her chief disciple).

* The Seat of Electricity has abandoned the Emmental Council, but Madrigella recommends letting him go.
All in all a very successful outing.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Agent Profile - Aremasu

The Duck here. Tayrn is picking on me for not keeping up on these so out of the goodness of my heart I am getting back at them (that, and she hid the key to the liquor cabinet). Today I am focusing on our Zen Archer Aremasu.

Aremasu was one of the greatest archers of the 1850 juncture. Truthfully his skill is said to rival that of Sun Chen, master archer of the Guiding Hand. But he is distinguished from his fellow bow stringer by two important characteristics. He's not an anal retentive Confucianist with a big old stick up his tuckus, and he is still living (meaning no disrespect to Sun Chen).

Aremasu's devotion to Buddhism caused him to come into conflict with the Guiding Hand and the Ascended. Also his desire to avoid entangling himself with the material world led him to leave himself exposed to his enemies. Fortunately for him, Tayrn sent me and Tarkus to the 1850s. I don't know how he managed it, but let me say you haven't seen 1850s Japan until you've seen it from a 1978 El Camino. We rescued Aremasu, filled him in on what few details he hadn't figured out for himself, and brought him back to the present.

He's quiet but polite. His demeanor might lead some to assume he lacks verve or skill. Allow me to dispel any such illusions. He's definitely got skills. He is, however, an intellectual pacifist. That doesn't mean he won't fight and even kill in combat, but he won't kill out of combat. Nor will he allow his companions to kill outside of combat. It's a trait that some may find annoying or impractical, which is why Tayrn and Oliphant have kept him in the back ground up until now. With things heating up, however, I don't think he'll be staying in the background.

Also, the obvious question, he does speak reasonably good English (learned it from some Cowboy who traveled to China seeking his fortune, apparently), but he does not have too much experience with modern machinery or devices; so expect him to ask a lot of questions. He is part of the Rogue Elephant society rather than the Mongoose, because apparently, it depresses him to see how materialist Japan has become.

Maybe I ought to try telling Tayrn it depresses me to see an empty glass.

OK, we'll be back later with some more insights into our little family of miscreants.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Field Report - Omami Shoto

This is Vivek reporting for the Silent Mongoose Society. We have undergone some challanges since our last report. We recieved intelligence that suggested that a missing nuclear device was being sold in an auction on this island.

Unfortunately that intel was a ruse to lure us here. Once we were here our ship was destroyed and we found ourselves taking part in a test of a very different type of weapon. Our captors described themselves as Xeno-biologists, and they tested a new creation on us. It was about 4 meters long, had six legs, and resembled a komodo dragon. It had, however, a horn on it's nose and wickedly sharp claws. One wounded Crow, but he recovered relatively quickly. We were able to dispatch the rest of them, and seize control of the compound. As near as we can tell the creature was created here.

There was one unusual device that seems to have been used to incubate the creatures. We were able to find an invoice for it, and it came from a factory in West Texas. I gather there has been an investigation into another factory in that area, and it seems likely that this is the same one. I cannot imagine Sollay Texas having two such factories.

At any rate, we are stuck here for the moment, but should be able to return to Macao within a few days.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Field Report - Paris

The Mangey Unicorn Society has decamped to Paris, as it appears that the European branch of our enemies have no presense here, and security is a priority for the moment.

Through my contacts, some legwork by Silver Slippers and Molly, and some expert computer work by Lady Saturday (although we all miss Gretal's proficiencies), we've put together a part of a report.

The name that crops up most in our research is La Societe Emmental. Emmental being a type of cheese, I suspect this is a subtle joke. They are very quiet; but among those who have at least a connection to the group are a Swiss confectionery company, a Marseilles street gang, a London philanthropic organization, a group of Dutch Hacker / Anarchists, and a Polish Grainery consortium. Obviously they have a wide range of interests.

Silver Slippers has reported a strange phenomenon; magic is easier in some locations connected to them. She and Molly investigated the Swiss confectionery Company, when she realized how much easier it was for her to call upon her fae abilities. She finds this very troubling, and has left us to journey to the Black Forest and commune with the Fae Court.

Putting one and one together, I would suggest that we are facing mages of some sort with a particular focus on elemental magic. This is suggested by our encounters. We have heard reports of Lightning Monsters, Writhing Water Tentacles, Flame-covered Samuris, Ice Wielding Mages, and so on. Another clue is the word Emmental, which, in english, sounds somewhat close to the word Elemental.

All of this is mere conjecture, of course. And fortunately we do have one piece of hard evidence. We were able to recover a laptop that they had used to order parts. While the device itself contained no useful information, in dismantling it (apparently to relax), Lady Saturday noted that it contained an unusual homing style device. She carefully removed it from the device, and examined it. It is technology that is not common at this time, as the inventor of this particular device won't be born for another three years. She was, however, to track it to a manufacturing plant in Sollay, West Texas. The town has a population of about 15, but it does contain this manufacturing plant and I for one would very much like to know what is inside it.

The only other clue is that I am trying to arrange a meeting with another mystic, an old "friend" of mine. He's a scheming and conniving bastard, but he might give us some useful information. I should know more in couple of days.


Friday, July 02, 2004

News Report - weird Happenings!

Tayrn here. Here's a section from a recent Alistaire Traficant column. For those who don't know Traficant is a friend of Mr. Oliphaunt and a drinking buddy of the Duck. He's claims to be part Svart Aelfan, whatever that means. He's alternatively charming and selfish, and I've had to lay him out on more than one occasion.

And finally, there is no need to tell me any further about the mysterious events occurring at the Adam's Mark Hotel. Some unmitigated nonsense about an electricity monster? I'm not denying the dark visitors that sometimes plague our world. I've visited cyclopean tombs and eldricht temples on five continents, and I can attest that such creatures clearly exist. But not in Jacksonville Florida.

I'm informed that there was even a science fiction convention being held at that hotel; what people took as a electricity monster was probably some sort of elaborate costume. As for tales of a man leaping and running along side the third story windows, well, let me just say that in the real world there's a distinct shortage of wires for people to hang from.

As always I encourage my readers to watch for the real wonders and dangers of the unseen world, while keeping an eye out for transparent frauds such as this.
The official records of that night have been scrubbed as normal, and the video cameras from the hotel lobby were, fortunately, completely destroyed during the fight. Quite a feat that, but we were pretty alert that night.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Field Report - Gretal Recovered 2

This is Taryn. I'm not going to go over everything, because you all know the general outlines. Yesterday Gretal was kidnapped and brought to the United States. It appears that the kidnapping was, at least in part, an attempt to spread our forces thin and to lead our operatives into traps. A few highlights.

- Lady Saturday, in Zurich, was attacked by what she described as a "Knives and Forks" monster. She dispatched it using a few well placed bits of C4 and moved to a separate apartment.
- Madrigella, Molly and Silver Slippers were attacked on the road to Bern, and also had a run in with the law that may have been staged.
- The Psychedelic, covering Chattanooga airport, was attacked. He defeated his enemies, but the wounds suffered in the fight caused him to be hospitalized.
- There were attacks on our agents in several other airports.

Gretal was, ultimately, taken to Jacksonville, where Johnny Grease, Barry Ho, and Tarkus were able to effect a rescue, aided by information from Madrigella and a uniquely skilled passerby named Joe. They were attacked by a woman wielding Ice Based powers and her cronies, which they dispatched.

They then headed to the Adams-Mark hotel in downtown Jacksonville, where Gretal had been taken. There they were attacked by some sort of Electroman. Barry Ho attacked this creature, while Tarkus and Johnny Grease chased off after Gretal's captors who took off. Barry Ho was able to dispatch the creature with some help from a passerby named Joe who may have been involved with an unusual event last month. We are bringing him in for questioning, which as you know involves the Duck getting drunk with the interogatee in hopes that he lets something slip.

Anyway Tarkus superior skill and superior machine was able to catch up with the other car. He muscled his car directly in front of the other car in such a way that the drive side swiped some parked cars. This jolt was enough to wake up Gretal. At that moment Johnny Grease dropped some caltrops and punctured the tires of Gretal's Captors. Gretal dispatched her female kidnapper and the driver was rendered unconscious. Tarkus swung around, they picked up Gretal and made their way to the rendy-vous point (The Hole in the Wall which makes the best Irish Coffee in Florida (not that there's much call for hot drinks here)).

We know disturbingly little about our enemies, and they seem to know a great deal about us. Madrigella is working some leads and should have something for us soon. What we do know is that they have mystical skill and can manage spectacular effects, even in this world where such effects are supposed to be impossible. That indicates either great skill or they are cheating somehow.

At any rate, it's good to have Gretal back, and lift your glasses to Tarkus, Johnny Grease and Barry Ho for having accomplished this task.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Field Report - Gretal Recovered

Gretal has been recovered by Tarkus and Johnny Grease, the situation has passed. It's been a long day, and a further report will be posted in the morning.


Field Report - Atlanta 3

Duck here

This is just a report to say that nothing has been found yet. Madrigella just called to swear at me, and I just want to say her command of swearwords is something to behold. You wouldn't think that looking at her, but . . . I digress.

The tickets used by the kidnappers list their names as Francoise Elegin, Roberto Illisar and Mary Louise Trent (which is what they used for Gretal). Convienently we have discoverd that passangers with these names are taking five flights out of Atlanta. Jacksonville, Orlando, Chattanoga, Washington D.C., and New Orleans. Obviously four of those are decoys. I hope.

Hopefully we can keep them from making their flights, but if not, I reckon Oliphaunt will be sending some of you to cover those destinations.

Field Report - Atlanta 2

This is not my fault.

This is the Duck. Something wierd as hell happened here. Apparently we were supposed to be at Gate E12 and we went to Gat A12, which is a long way away from where we are supposed to be. Funny thing. Both me and the Psychedelic looked up the info and came up with the same gate and when we got to A12, the damn sign said Now Arriving Milan. I have a print out of the screen, and that says A12, so I'd say whoever they got doing this crap pretty well succeeded at screwing with us.

I'd say it was some kind of computer hacker, but the Psychedelic thinks it's a "paradoxical specter, a magic mushroom mindhacker, a stone cold tribble groove." I'm pretty sure that means he thinks magic is behind it. Anyway he's trying to get the spirit of the Airport to tell him where they went. One of our monkey buddies found an untended terminal in a back room and patched in. Hopefully one of them will turn up something.

But to repeat the main point, I am not drunk and this is not my fault!

Field Report - Atlanta

This is the Duck. Oliphaunt asked me to lead a group here--we are just getting in position now. Myself, The Psychedelic, and the Corpse are in the terminal, with our Simian friends moving into position in case they try to rabbit.

This should be a nice clean take down. The Psychedelic will take the woman down, while the Corpse (or Archduke Xal Chien as he prefers to be called) will eliminate the man. I will grab Gretal, which is probably the hardest job. But that's me; always taking one for the team. I'll post again when we have this lot sorted out.

Field Report - Gretal's Kidnapping 4

Well, we finally caught a break. Two breaks actually. We know that Gretal and two of her captors (one of the men and the woman) boarded Delta Flight 75 from Milan Italy to Atlanta Georgia. Mr. Oliphaunt has already sent a strike team to meet them as they arrive.

We discovered this through going through the hotel server, and were able to confirm it with hotel cameras.

The other news is not too surprising, but our enemies are Magus of some kind. According to Slippers their spells seem somewhat Paradoxically based and have a distinct odor of Blue. I'm unsure as to what that means, but thought I would repeat it. We have some suspicions as to who has organized this kidnapping, but I am waiting to hear back from a contact, and don't want to give any statements until I know for sure.

The flight lands at 3:15 Eastern Time, hopefully that will put an end to this particular trouble. My sense is, however, that this is all somewhat pat. While we have had a certain difficulty in tracking the group which Slippers believed came from their influence on the laws of chance, the trail itself was not very difficult. I can't help but feel that they want our attention, and I would recommend all those who get involved in this matter to stay on your toes.


Field Report - Gretal's Kidnapping 3

OK. We've gone over the room a bit (It's now 3:30 PM, Gretal has been missing for 17 hours). We found that they had linked to a hotel server in order to access the internet, and Lady Saturday has hacked it and is trying to retrieve information. Other than that the room looks pretty clean.

Their are three of them, not counting Gretal. They put Gretal on the bed, and then the woman sat in a chair reading and the two men stood near the door. I retrieved a hair sample which is being analyzed by a back channel contact I do not wish to reveal at this time.

One troubling aspect, Silver Slippers stated that there was a pool of magic in the room, what she called a "Shallowing." She attempted to divine it's purpose, but is a bit hesitent to use magic, as she suspects it might be some sort of trap. For the moment we are focusing on using more mundane techniques, reserving magic for use if everything falls through.

Speaking of mundane techniques, Molly was able to glean some information from the desk clerk. He remembered them checking in and out. The hotel is near the train station, so it is common enough for wealthy people to take a room for a couple of hours while waiting for a train. They checked in at about 2:00 AM and Checked out at about 5:00 AM. He didn't see them check in, but he saw them check out. He was curiously unable to give a good description of any of the principles, other than that the men were wearing bad suits.

The desk clerk did say that Gretal was giggling to herself, which he found disconcerting. This does lend credence to the theory that she is being drugged, as, to my knowledge, Gretal has never before giggled.

I should have more in a bit, hang tight.


Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Field Report - Gretal's Kidnapping 2

This has been a frustrating night and morning. It is now 1:00 PM my time (7:00 AM Orlando, 6:00 PM Bangkok)

We were waylaid on the road to Bern just past Sarnen (we were taking the southern route) by a van full of men in badly tailored suits. Their guns were well operated however, and we had to take shelter for bit. Molly was shot in the thigh which slowed her down a little (although she still managed to subdue three of our attackers in her unimitatable style (I suspect it was good for her to work of a little stress)). Silver Slippers and I arranged the other five. In the fracass, however, both cars were damaged, and we lost contact with Lady Saturday.

We managed to acquire a new vehicle through the power of persuasion and arrived at Bern at about seven in the morning, local time (1:00 AM Orlando Time, Noon Bangkok Time). Our methods of acquiring a new automobile lead to an undesirable encounter with the local police which took us some time to extract ourselves from. Lady Saturday has used her special skills to erase all record of our brief incarceration.

Silver Slippers then was able to perform a ritual to lead us to Gretal. It worked imperfectly, but Slippers strongly contends that our enemies worked some kind of counter curse to protect themselves. At any rate, we found the room where her captors and her were staying (including some adorable child sized handcuffs that I believe I can find some use for should I find her captors alive), but they are gone. We are investigating the room now and will pass on further information when we have it.


Field Report - Gretal's Kidnapping

I suspect this will be the first of a series of posts.

Lady Saturday set up a search algorithm to monitor security cameras throughout Zurich. One picked up Gretal climbing onto a train for Bern, accompanied by what appeared to be a woman in a long dark coat and two men in nicely made but ill fitting suits. The train arrived in Bern at 1:28 AM, and Lady Saturday is remapping her search program to operate in Bern. Molly, Slippers and I are driving to Bern in the Spider. I'll report more when we have something.


Agent Profile - Gretal

Ok this is the Duck. Taryn came and got me, and asked me to fill you in on Gretal. I had intended to get around to her in a bit, but times being what they are.

First of all, I wouldn't worry too much about Gretal. She's extremely dangerous. For those of you who haven't met Gretal she has a visible age of about 13. She was created as part of a governmental breeding program in the future. As such she is brilliant and a bit scary. Well a lot scary at times.

This is going to sound scarier than it is, but she has an inability to, on an emotional level, empathize with other human beings. On an intellectual level she is capable of understanding that other human beings have feelings, but on an emotional level she can't quite grasp it. When me and Madrigella extracted her from Child Research Station Zeto and we realized her condition, Madrigella got a copy of some work by the philosopher Kant. I'm not much for philosophy, but apparently it did the trick, because she started acting like a kind and gentle person, instead of a barely restrained psychopath.

I'm told that Gretal's condition is akin to sociopathy. Madrigella, however, says that it comes from a completely different source and can't be treated the same.

For my part, I took her to the Zoo, which she didn't like, and introduced her to the Simpsons, which, after a little while, she did like. I did not introduce her to my favorite pursuits, as she is only 13.

Intellectually, however, she is about 32, and at that she's probably a damn sight smarter than any of you. I know she's smarter than me (not that that's saying much. I've always relied more on charm than brains). Anyway whoever approaches her, do so carefully and identify yourself clearly as a member of the Rogue Elephant Society.

For those interested in stats, here they are.

Field Report - Gretal Kidnapped

Gretal, a member of the Mangey Unicorn Society has been kidnapped. It's unclear who did it or why this was done. We should have more shortly.

Molly, Gretal, and Silver Slippers were walking back to our current residence, through the Lake Side Parks in Zurich, Switzerland. The project that had brought us to Zurich did not involve them, and so they went out to explore, as is their wont. Molly's wont, but we've all come to enjoy joining her on her explorations. If only they didn't so often lead into trouble.

Gretal often runs off, so it was about a half hour before Slippers and Molly noticed she was gone. They noticed she was missing at about 10:30 PM Zurich Time (4:30 PM in Orlando, 3:30 AM in Bangkok). Slippers used her arts to determine the Gretal was no longer in the park. Once she called it in, Lady Saturday deterimined that her tranciever had also been removed or deactivated. We believe that Gretal must be drugged, as she is quite skilled at defending herself under normal circumstances. We place the time of kidnapping somewhere between 10:00 PM and 10:30 PM Zurich Time.

I do not believe that Gretal has turned or been turned on our enterprise; but it must be accepted as a possibility.

I shall report more as I can, although naturally I am somewhat more concerned with doing my job than with posting here.


Monday, June 21, 2004

Agent Profile - Quon Jih-Eaux

Yeah this is The Duck again. This will be a short one though because Jih-Eaux is boring as hell, and because I'm too damn sober.

The way he tells it, Jih-Eaux was a regular old kid, messing around and getting into trouble in Macao (which is in China for those who don't know). The way kids are supposed to be in my book, but apparently it wasn't working out for him. So one day he stumbled into a website proporting to provide martial arts courses. After jiggering with the payment system, he downloaded a PDF entitled "The Staff of the Bruin," and printed it up. It was a series of exercises one was supposed to do with a staff. He found a broom handle and practiced with that all afternoon. When he went back to his computer, he couldn't find the downloaded PDF or the website. Mr. O figures that he stumbled into a bit of the Innernet (some sort of Ascended super-internet, I've never used it myself, being a bit of a black sheep. Well, black duck, anyway).

Anyway he keeps practicing and getting better and better. He shaves his heads, and takes to dressing in loose fitting mono-chromatic outfits. Blacks, Greys, and Greens. He's still a kid, but he's got the gift and the drive. Then one day some men showed up at his school wearing dark outfits and claiming to work for the Secretary of Security and asking to speak to him. They asked him about his web habits in detail, but Jih-Eaux didn't give them any indication that he had downloaded any illicit kung-fu manuals. It's a good thing Taryn doesn't work for Macao, she would have cracked him like a grape. When I innocently borrowed a bottle from Oliphaunts private cellar, she had my confession in 2 minutes flash. Granted, I'm particularly vulnerable to attractive women, but still.

Anyway, back to Jih-Eaux. I'd had my eye on him for a couple of weeks, actually. Taryn had intercepted a communique referencing him, and I had seen him practice and could tell he was quite good. I paid some toughs to beat the snot out of him as sort of a field exercise. Well, they were five adults and he was a 16 year old kid and took them down like yesterday's garbage. So when I saw their interest in him, I knew I had hit the jackpot. I picked him up after school and gave him the lowdown. I introduced him to Master Hoshi, and the two hit it off (sort of).

Anyway he's a 16 year old Chinese kid, like I said. He's shaved his head, and is quite spiritual for someone in our profession. He and Lord Hoshi are a study in contrasts. Lord Hoshi is loud, brash, worldly, and flashy (and of course, from 1850). Quon Jih-Eaux is quiet, friendly, ascetic, and workmanlike. Both are extremely effective martial artists however, particularly since Quon Jih-Eaux has recovered what he calls the Jade Staff of a Thousand Crystalline Blows (it looks like a regular old Staff to me, but what I know). Jih-Eaux also possesses excellent computing skills and is fairly good at sneaking. He's also extremely lucky.

Jih-Eaux works with the Silent Mongoose Society, naturally. If you want more statistical information, here it is.

Anyway that's all for this edition. Adios amoebas.

Intercepted Document - NSA Security Document S.12223

This document was intercepted by an ally of Mr. Oliphaunts and is provided here.

Field Report
Agents - Starley and Millkin
Location - Tallahassee FL
Descriptors - Gang, motorcycle; Ghost.
Possible Contacts - Phunt, Oliver, slight Asian man, taller American man (possibly Italian American)

Description of Events. Agent Millkin and I arrived at about 3:00 in the afternoon. Millkin had a theory that the Asylum was inhabited by the spirit of one of the inmates contained there when the hospital was in operations. When we arrived we saw a very well dressed American man, sweating slightly, and a smaller Asian man, who was more cool. The Asiatic man did most of the talking, explaining that he and his companion were surveying the property for an employer.

Agent Millkin and I noted a stream of motorcycles, and enquired about them, but they explained that they had arrived just before us, and assumed that the owners of the bike had gone somewhere on foot. After a brief inspection of the building, which, although run down, seemed structurally sound, we exited the building and noticed that the car of these two gentleman was completely destroyed.

We speculated that the gang of motorcycle toughs had returned while we were inside and pounded on the front of the car with baseball bats or hammers. I noted a baseball nearby which confirmed my hypothesis. Agent Millkin determined that we should consult with local authorities about their unwillingness to prosecute these thugs.

Later that evening we returned with a deputy (Deputy Charles Jones) and found the bodies of the motorcycle gang. Deputy Jones speculated that perhaps a rival gang had attacked. Agent Millkin speculated that perhaps the ghosts contained within the asylum had possessed the bikers and forced them to turn their guns on one another. Autopsies, however, showed that they had been killed by a weapon that matched none of the weapons left on site.

There were, however, anomalous findings on one of the bodies. A very large man, who was identified as Virgil St. Claire, but also apparently went by the name of Meat. The wounds he experienced seemed to be caused by heavy blows to the body, but it was impossible to identify what sort of weapon had caused the wounds. There were also strange burns on the skin, similar to burns caused by muzzle flash but with a different pattern.

At any rate, it seems most likely that the dead men were victims of a rival gang, as Deputy Jones opined. We did confirm that the property had been recently purchased by a man named Oliver Phunt, and we are attempting to contact him to gain information on his employees.
This operation was perhaps a bit noisier than we like to see, but it appears that Barry Ho and Johnny Grease were able to dissuade law enforcement from taking an interest in our activities. For the time being, at any rate.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Agent Profile - Lady Saturday

Hello all, this is the Duck. I was a private investigator in Maui when ole' Oliphaunt picked me up. He and the Dragon Lady sent me all over the world to recruit people for this little bar-b-que we find ourselves in. And now he's asked me to prepare some profiles on the people I collected for him. So we'll see how this goes.

First person is a member of the Mangey Unicorn Society. One of the first I recruited, and, like many of you all, initial investigation left me with the conclusion that she was a nothing more than a legend. Than I found her and found that she was much more.

She's about 5'2", shoulder length black hair (when down, which it almost never is), slender, almost frail body. She dresses in subdued blacks and greys, but never with any noticeable style. One of her favorite sayings is "Style gets you killed."

She won't talk about her child hood - closest she gets is a mention of working alongside the diggers in 68 or so. She found her way into a couple of different revolutionary groups, but personality differences made such experiences short lived. Instead she began working alone and very quietly, very meticulously. She's a planner.

Here's her MO. She finds a corporation or government group acting like pinheads. Maybe they are abusing their workers. Maybe they are endangering the populous. Then she finds good blackmail evidence on the people making the decision. If she can't find it she creates it. This process, determining guilt and fixing the evidence, can take up to a year.

Then she plants a bomb on the premises (often, if possible, she takes a job at the place she plans on destroying). She makes a call about 30 minutes after the plant closes and makes two demands. One for money (even Revolutionary Saboteuses need to eat) and one to end any crap the company is pulling. They give in nine times out of ten, and the tenth time, well, you read about it in the papers. Usually her bombs are set up to cause maximum hassle and stoppage with minimum danger. She's an ethical bomber.

She told me, over drinks (well I was drinking. She never drinks, apparently), that "Too many revolutionaries forget that the system is made up of people and machinery, and it's safer, easier and more rewarding to smash the machinery and leave the people alone. Plus then you can sleep at night."

Anyway I found her and talked to her. She met with Oliphaunt and he explained the world to her. I'm not sure how he convinced her to join with us, as it strikes me her whole life has been a rebellion against the world the Ascended have created. I heard rumors he and the Ice Queen took her on a tour of the other time friends and she saw how much worse it could get. I gather, from other talks with her, that he promised we'd try to do something to get the ascended to be a bit better to the common people. I wonder how patient she will be with him and how much he really intends to do.

Course it occurs to me that she might be reading this, and if so, I hope she won't take anything personal. Just doing my job.

Here's some more statistical information, for those interested.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Field Report - The 31 Precepts of the 97 Chrysanthemums

This was just recieved from Bangkok.

Hello my name is Vivek and I have been labled a vigalente by those who do not understand the evils we face. Recently we clashed with the 97 Chrysanthemums and I happened to acquire this list of Precepts which all of the Chrysanthemums are too live by.

Variations of this list are used by a number of South Asian Tongs and secret societies so it is worthy of close examination.

1. To cross the ocean without letting the sky know. To cheat all the people around.
2. To surround Wei country in order to rescue Chao country. If an ally is surrounded by enemy, attack the enemy's country to save the ally.
3. To kill a person with someone else's knife. To eliminate a victim without being personally involved.
4. To stay home and let the enemy come to attack you. To eliminate the tired enemy with your refreshed army.
5. To rob while there is a fire. To commit a crime amidst social unrest. To pretend to hit the east and actually attack the west. To pretend to attack one place and strike the unguarded primary target.
6. To create something out of nothing. To confuse the enemy with false information.
7. To attack the enemy through the least suspected routes while launching an explicit yet fake attack plan.
8. To stay at a distance while two conflicting parties are attacking each other.
9. To pretend to be innocent when caught.
10. To put Chang's hat on Lee's head. To confuse the enemy by identifying Lee as Chang and vice versa.
11. To steal if the situation allows. To beat the grass and scare the snake. To hit two enemies with one attack.
12. To utilize the identity of a deceased man.
13. To persuade the tiger to leave its mountain. To persuade the army or householder to leave the city or house so that one can attack the place off-guard.
14. To pretend to set loose a person right before arresting him. To throw a stone to call forth the jade. Limited self-revelation or exposure to bring forth the hidden enemy.
15. To magnify one's own strength.
16. To solve a problem by treating the causes rather than the consequences.
17. To steal after creating chaos.
18. To transform oneself into a totally new person in a crisis situation.
19. To occupy a country while passing through it.
20. To make friends with groups from far away while conquering the surrounding groups.
21. To blame someone you do not want to have open conflict, point the finger at someone else while you are making the verbal assault.
22. To steal the dragon and replace it with a phoenix. That means to steal a real thing and replace it with a fraudulent one, or to send an innocent marginal member to the authorities to bear the burden of the heinous crime of an important offender.
23. To kill a person and scare the rest.
24. To pretend to be an insane person when caught.
25. To destroy the bridge after crossing it, that is, to prevent the enemy from following.
26. To commit a crime in such a way that the incident seems to be caused by natural forces.
27. To overpower the host and take over his place.
28. To use women as bait.
29. To attack or rob a place while it is unguarded.
30. To obtain information about the enemy by counter-intelligence activities.
31. To lure the enemy's pity by intentionally hurting oneself. To apply the domino principle. To walk away from the scene if there is no better option.

This should convine all who read it of the evil of such criminals. Hopefully we will be vigilant in crushing them.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

News Report - Local Landmark Reopening in Bangkok

Translated from Thai, first appeared in the Bangkok Post.

Local Landmark Reopens

The Deeply Conspicuous Tea Room in downtown Bangkok reopened today under new management. The Teahouse was destroyed in what was reported to be a battle between rival gangs.

Mr. Hoshi, a financier of some kind made these cryptic comments. "I believe that this Tea Room will serve as an example to those in the community of how to live in an honorable and pleasing manner." He then demonstrated to the reporters his skills as a martial artist.

Mr. Hoshi noted that Ms. Sumalee will remain the manager of the Deeply Conspicuous Tea Room, stating, "truly such a magnificent entrepreneuse would be sorely missed by all, if we had replaced her."

The Tea Room was destroyed under strange circumstances; it had apparently been adopted by the Green Snake Society, a local tong. There were in the process of purchasing the Tea Room when a rival gang attacked them there. In the ensuing fight the Green Snake Society was run off, and Mr. Hoshi stepped in to stem the Tea Rooms financial troubles.
The Deeply Conspicuous Tea Room was a moderately powerful Chi Site. We don't know if the Green Snake Society was aware of that when they chose it as a home base, but it seems possible. The Green Snake Society, as referenced before, is a part of The Organization, so this victory made our organization stronger and theirs weaker.

All of the organizations are involved in seizing Chi sites for themselves. There will be a meeting of the Rogue Elephant Society (US) tonight to discuss gaining control over such sites in the American Southeast.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

The Darkness We Face; The Producers

The third organization we find ourselves at odds with calls themselves the Producers. Presumably most of you are aware of the mythology surrounding a United States Military installation called Area 51. As you will often find, there is a grain of truth behind the mythology.

The Ascended have had the occasion to acquire a number of odd and unusual artifacts in their battles in the netherworld and in defending the junctures they hold. Some of those artifacts are magically powered, created by the Lotus or others in earlier junctures. Some of them are powered by a fusion of Magic and Technology which has the inelegant name of Arconowave Technology. Some of them are the remnants of lost junctures. Many of these devices are distinctly dangerous to the Ascended. So they were taken to the 1850 juncture to a remote location in Nevada for storage purposes.

Since that time the Ascended have maintained a staff of Pledged humans working to decipher these strange mechanisms. In the 1940s, an experiment gone awry alerted the public to the existence of Area 51. The Pledged Servents of the Ascended attempted initially to quell such rumors, however, some in the Jackal family saw an opportunity to experiment with a disinformation campaign in order to diver those who might threaten the Ascended.

They have succeeded; many seekers of the truth are diverted into unproductive quests for aliens. The staff at Area 51 have developed a few procedures to seed confusion among those whose passion for the truth might make them a threat. They have a three pronged methodology.

1. They provide circumstantial and visual evidence of aliens. This is done using technology they have pilfered from the Architects and from other sources.
2. Whenever anybody gets a little too eager or needs a push in the right direction, they receive either an anonymous tip or a visit from the “Men in Black.” The “Men in Black” have rarely handled actual threats to the Ascended (those are usually handled by a visit from Scorpion or Snake assassins), but they help steer seekers into dead end investigations by showing up to “dissuade the investigator” from investigating nonsense.
3. The third prong is nicknamed Project Frankenstein. As referenced above they have a relatively large stockpile of biotechnology from the future. They have been attempting to duplicate said devises and installing it in human subjects. They acquire their subjects in one of two ways. Either they capture them through an “alien abduction” or they use an inmate from one of about two dozen prisons that Ascended (and now the Producers) control in the Southwest.
Recently the head of Area 51, along with allies throughout the South West United States and up into the Rocky Mountains have quietly slipped off the reservation. They have increased their production of Frankensteins, and have made significant advances in their understanding of Arcanowave technology. We believe they have made contact with a group from the 2056 juncture. It’s doubtful they would work with the Architects directly, but they may have contacted disaffected scientists from that juncture. They have begun referring to themselves as the Producers, a wry reference to their creation of science fiction monsters.

The goals of the Producers are even less clearly understood than those of the Organization. Clearly they are frustrated at being kept out of the ranks of real power within the Ascended. And it is possible that they are following a plan set out by their hypothetical contact in 2056.

The confusion, however may simply be a reflection of their current leader, Jason Wittgensen, of whom I will speak at a later time.

The Darkness We Face; The Organization

As referenced above I am reviewing the groups that the Rogue Elephant Society was created to struggle against. The first, the True Ascended, I referenced below.

The second group is simply called the Organization. It is made up of several crime families and organizations. For the most part these are smaller operations, as most of the larger, more successful, criminal organizations are under the direct control of the Ascended. The combined power of these smaller groups, however, is making them players in the criminal world.

Among the groups who have united behind the Organization are the Luchesse Family out of Washington D.C., the Mahoney Family from Philadelphia, the Raviel Cartel (out of Peru), the Johnny Too Bads (a Jamaican Gang, powerful in New York and the Caribbean), the 97 Chrysanthemums (from Malaysia, although they also have a presence in Hong Kong), the Soshi Family (A Yakuza Family, active in Japan and the Pacific Northwest), and the Green Snake Society (Thailand), as well as several dozen smaller groups.

What makes this group troubling is the speed with which they have grown and acquired power. A year ago most of the individual families / groups were barely getting by; today and together they have enough muscle to challenge almost any other gang. So far they have chosen to be good sports and stay quiet, but they are under no obligation to continue that policy.

The big man in North America is called Big Cy, which is short for Cyrus. He’s affiliated with the Mahoney family, but he has not been with them very long. We can not discern any overarching goal for the Organization except that of making a lot of money through criminal endeavors. That doesn't mean that such goals don't exist, simply that we are unaware of what they might be. This is a lack we intend to rectify.

Monday, June 14, 2004

The Darkness We Face; The True Ascended

There are three main enemies that Mr. Oliphaunt created the Rogue Elephant Society to face. All three share one thing in common; they are all largely hidden from the hierarchy of the Ascended. Mr. Oliphaunt tried warning the Unspoken Name, leader of the Ascended, but does not feel that his warnings were given much credence. And so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

The first of these threats involves an organization called the "True Ascended." This organizations includes portions of the Shell of the Turtle, the Fang of the Snake, and the Hunger of the Jackal, as well as individual Moles (who, given their mining expertise have contributed extensively to the finances of the True Ascended), Spiders(who have contributed considerably towards keeping the True Ascended off of the Unspoken Name's radar screen), Toads, Magpies, Cockroaches, Crabs and Chameleons.

The True Ascended have two main programs that we've been able to discern. The first is something they call the Apocalypse Protocols. We've been unable to ascertain exactly what these protocols would accomplish, but, tellingly, they have involved gaining control of various weapons facilities, including some nuclear silos in the former Soviet Union.

The other project is called the Phoenix Agenda. It involves shoring up the numbers of the True Ascended through three methods. The first is rapid response to the appearance of an ascended animals. The second is the attempt to encourage more animals to ascend. The third, the most ambitious, involves taking Ascended who have reverted to their original form and, somehow, Re-ascending them. It's unclear whether this is even possible; but they are going to try.

Key True Ascended Personnel include Ms. Lauren Sidell, a turtle with a real knack for covert organization. She developed the protocols that allow them to maintain a certain unity of action, without any single cell knowing enough to be dangerous to the organization as a whole. She appears to have died about two months ago, and the circumstances surrounding her death are murky. The current head of the True Ascended is either a European Jackal named Francoise or an Australian Mole known as Reggie McKracken.

They are dangerous and dedicated to their goals, but they haven't acted against the Ascended or the current world situation yet. Mr. Oliphaunt believes that they believe themselves superior to humanity, and their long range goals may be a society akin to that practiced in 2056. One of oppression and control for regular humans, although the ascended will have things much nicer (or so the True Ascended believe).

News Report - Diabolical Disturbance in Barcelona

Diabolical Disturbance in Barcelona
By Nicolai Van Hoffman, Associated Press

BARCELONA, SPAIN. According to reports collect by this reporter, their was a supernatural attack on a small chapel on the outskirts of Barcelona. The priest was able to repel the beast with some help.

During evening services, worshipers reported the doors being flung open and 12 feet tall humanoid figure, covered with mouths walking in. The creature, apparently had his own mouth with which he screamed, "It is time for this place to die!" The beast strode into the center of the chapel, at which point the priest pulled out an automatic weapon and opened fire, while worshipers fled through a side door, and to the back.

The weapon had little effect initially, but then the beast was also attacked by three other worshipers, three woman. The first was 7 feet tall and extremely well built, with red hair and black eyes. She attacked the creature with her fists. The second, a thin woman with light purple hair, pulled a handgun and opened fire as well, and the third, according to reports (which omitted all description of her), spoke some words in an ancient language and threw lightning from her fingers at the creature. The creature fought back, throwing the tongues in its many mouths out to attack, but was destroyed.

The three woman disappeared into the crowd and the priest refused to make any comment.

Editors comments; Are you kidding me? What is this crap, Van Hoffman? You have stories like these send them to the enquirer not me.
We have news taps at all the mainstream news sources. This story never saw the light of day, thank goodness. The woman involved were, of course, our own Molly, Madrigella, and Silver Slippers. We don't know what to make of this "Many-Mouthed Beast." The first assumption would be that the Lotus (sorcerers from ancient China) would be behind it, but they rarely operate outside of the Far East. Madrigella believes herself to be on the trail of whoever sent the beast, but we have no hard evidence at this point.

A Few Procedual Notes

Mr. Oliphaunt has suggested that I (Tayrn, for those who don't know) give a brief insight into how our organization works. After a weekend spent stealing illicit technology from the Seven Skateboarding Samurai, you'd think he would give me a break. But apparently not.

At any rate, I'll make this brief. Although Mr. Oliphaunt remains sequestered in Central Florida (from which he runs the American contingent), he has set up satellite organizations in Europe and Asia, and we hope to have organizations in Central and South America and Africa soon.

The organization in Europe has the name "The Mangy Unicorn Society" and is housed in Kaiserslatern, Germany. It is made up exclusively of women, as Mr. Oliphaunt does not believe that Men and Woman should serve in the same organization. After continued exposure he has realized that Women are as skilled in kicking ass and taking names as Men. He retains, however, the retrograde fantasy that Woman will distract Men (and I have to say that there is some evidence to support this view point. Men are pretty stupid when it comes to this sort of interaction).

At any rate the European organization has about 8 members, all very skilled. Among their ranks are Molly O'Shaunessay, bare knuckle champion of Shannon, 5 years running (although it seems unlikely she will make it back this year), Madrigella who has been working for the Italian Secret Service since she was 15 and running it since she was 23 (she needed more of a challenge and runs the Mangy Unicorn society), and a woman known as Gretal, who has an uncanny to ability to find anything and several other horrifying aspects.

The Asian organization is called "The Silent Mongoose Society" and is housed in Thiruvananthapuram, India. It is the other male society, and the smallest of the groups, with 5 members. The members include two martial artists, Master Hoshi and Quon Jih-Eux. Master Hoshi is a master of the Blade along with Crane Style Kung Fu. Quon Jih-Eaux is a master of Bear Style Kung Fu and is extremely strong. They also have Old Man Crow, a Native American shaman who served in the Korean War, and came to enjoy the area, and Vivek, a masked vigilante (the name means Justice) who had to be shown that his enemies were not just the cartels and tongs that menaced India.

The American organization, the actual Rogue Elephant society, is still in the final process of being put together; but it looks like it will be the largest with about 15 members. Among them are an ex-Mafia hitman named Johnny Grease, a cybernetic ape (that Mr. Oliphaunt has been under some pains to keep hidden) from the future, the Ghost of a Hong Kong cop named Billy Ho, and a transformed Mallard and Polynesian P.I. named "the Duck." We'll have to hope they can pull of the missions that Mr. Oliphaunt is going to ask of them.

Anyway this website will strive to record all of our groups missions and assignments; but obviously since I have more information on the American group (due to proximity) I will be covering them in some what greater detail.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

The Ascended

OK, I (Tayrn O'Ciaragáin) have returned. Apparently one of Mr. Oliphaunt's heroes was testing an unusual weapon recovered during one of his missions.

A few more details on the Ascended might be helpful before explaining their enemies. The Ascended are animals who have become human. Similar to the were wolves of European lore or the Changing Phantoms of Eastern Lore. Unfortunately the legends leave out a few salient details (or, in some cases, refer to similar, but distinct, creatures).

First of all the Ascended appear entirely human. They bear no obviously feral traits. They cannot become the animals that they have ascended from. They cannot become any Hollywood style half-man/half wolf hybrids either. They are simply humans who were once animals.

That is not to say that they do not share some of the traits of the animals they have ascended from. An ascended spider will tend to be patient and wary. An ascended tiger will be fierce and regal. I know from personal experience that an ascended mallard will be lazy and unproductive.

No I am not speaking of Mr. Oliphaunt. You might wonder if he is a transformed animal himself, given his close and friendly association with the ascended and, frankly, given his alias. For my part, I do not know. He has cleverly deflected any such inquiries on my part.

One thing that leads me to suspect he may be something else is that the ascended nearly always show some unusual powers related to their original form. For example I have seen Ascended Spiders entangle their opponents in invisible webs. I have seen Tigers leap upon their enemies from some distance. I have seen Mallards float on water (on a raft. Drinking Marguritas.)

The other key point to understand about the Ascended is that they fear magic in all its forms. Magic has the potential to revert them to their original forms. And once you have enjoyed life as a human, reverting to an animal life is pretty horrifying, I guess. Not to mention that many of their root animals have significantly shorter lifespans than humans.

A Note

Hello, I am Ms. Tayrn O'Ciaragáin. I serve as Mr. Oliphaunt's Major Domo, and as is typical in any endeavor that requires he leave his lounge, he has delegated the day to day running of this log to me.

It is one of his rare good ideas, however, so I am happy to do so. This log will be a private window into the workings of the Rogue Elephant Society, which currently has branches in Asia, Europe and North America. We hope to have branches in Africa / the Middle East and Latin America soon.

You may ask what the Rogue Elephant Society is all about. Well we are protecting the corrupt and venal system which runs the world in 2003 from becoming a truly monstrous system. Mr. Oliphaunt has some notion that we might improve the system through our efforts, but I remain doubtful.

The Ascended control the world. Kind of like those elderly gentleman on the X-Files, but more effective and less old. To answer the obvious questions, yes this means governments are illusions, the economic system is rigged in their favor (although not, I might add, specifically against anybody else (unless that person has frustrated a superior)), the media has little to no interest in revealing them, and they are the reason so many bad things happen. Not the only reason, but a reason.

Why, then, do I and Mr. Oliphaunt tacitly support them? Because the alternatives are worse. Much worse. But I'm afraid that I hear automatic gun fire, and so I must leave that discussion until a later time.

The Beginning

And so I, Mr. Phineas Oliphaunt, master of the Rogue Elephant Society do ordain that a log be created to record the exploits of my noble band of warriors and heros.